Otaku-Bagsy-Chan

scantastic!

2007-08-02T08:41:38Z

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...

the past 4 months have been really odd.
i split with my fiance, whom i've been with for 5 years, due to issues with work and well, core values i guess...
i have a new boyfriend now, who not only likes anime, actually took to ouran XD
when you get to my age, finding a guy your own age who likes the same stuff is hard (should you like the same sorts of stuff as i do... :p)

i've been busy with my flat, my work and not finding the time to sit at the computer and well... sit at the computer. lol.
part of the reason i was on here so much was because i was lonely, i was often on my own at home, and this was all there was.
but i promise i will find a balance, cos i love to draw soo muuuch!

here are some coloured Ouran scans i have a wip of mamo-bishies, the lineart for which was posted at my deviantart site, it's about 80% through, it's taken me weeks.

i got into code geass too, so expect much lelouch love, cos he is teh smex yo.

also i love lucky star :D i soooo wish my main style was the uber cutes chibi style used on that.

scans!!!

firstly, these were from chapter 53, which mabo-chan quite wonderfully scanlated! i've worked with mabo-chan with scans :) she rocks! XD

i know it was done before, but here's my take

then there's kyouya and tamaki from the cover!! use for banners and stuff at will ^^

and a chapter cover i love XD

Chapter 50 done!

2007-05-17T09:21:37Z

Here it is people!

the chapter that brought you Tanukies (what the heck is the plural of that?!) Tamaki epic fan service, and the revelation of the erm...
chapter?!

so, without much more further ado, the totally awesome Maboroshi-San and I bring you...

OURAN CHAPTER 50! DUH DUH DUH DUH duh dur duh dur duh! (final fantasy style)

page1
page2
page3
page4
page5
page6
page7
page8
page9
page10
page11
page12
page13
page14
page15
page16
page17
page18
page19
page20
page21
page22
page23
page24
page25
page26
page27
page28
page29
page30
page31
page32

spoiler tastic chapter 50 scans

2007-05-03T18:38:18Z

Me and Maboroshi from FRoP are doing a scanlation of the newest chapter of ouran atm.

here's a few pages to whet the appitite...

23
24
25
26
27

enjoy the angst!

i'm nearly done, this was Maboroshi's bit, but i'm typesetting so... ^^

More Random Blah <3

2007-04-12T21:34:32Z

Random no.1

Bon Bon
Ouendan!
Let's get cherry pie!
ran ran
kangeikai
you've got sensation!
hai!
sonzaikai
tenten shouwakusei
butsukatte
tokemashita
bouzen
ooi ni utatte
sing and dance!
WORK THAT 3 PEICE SAILOR SUIT¬!!! XDDDDDDDDD

I think i've watched the intro to Lucky Star about 30 million times now, the cutness is sickening, and the dance is amazing...
and the introduction of the subbed episode has made it worse, as now i understand the song, it makes me love it more!!! The episode itself is O_o...
to say the least.

but i think i share far too much in common with the blue haired girl XD 'Did you EVER have a real life friend?!' XDDDD

I'm also thinking of picking up Romeo and Juliet, but it ain't got a happy ending, and i can't stand unhappiness.

Random workings 2.)

Final Fantasy 3!

sorry for bleeting on and onnnnnn....

Goldor down, walking around Duster atm,

Theif Luneth (<3 to theives for being aceness personified) lvl 30
Knight Refia (hardass girls ftw.) lvl 30
White Mage Arc (dawww.....) lvl 30
and my personal favourite (because Becky is a bit obsessed with blondes)
DRAGOON INGUS!!! lvl 30
He's hot, he's wearing colours that co-ordinate with his hair and eyes, and he kicks stratospheric jumping butt.
still, the 6606 damage hit he did as a Scholar... MAN.

no black mage atm, they bore me to be honest. i might pick it back up later, or give something else magic-y a go.
i love the sound of the summoner... *BAHMUTTTTT!!!*
RAWRGGGGG!!!

and i walked up to a guy in duster and the item music played i thought 'OOO!'
and he said 'This is the sound when you get II-TEMMS!!!'
o_O you win sir, you win.

the other dude who said something about laying the smackdown highly amused me too. Someone was a bit liberal with the translation i see XD

OURRAAANNNNN.....

because no ramble would be complete without mentioning the love that is pretty boys selling thier services eh?

THE GAME... it's out soon. Not that i...

a) own a japanese playstation
b) understand enough Japanese to make someone like me
c) have a partner understanding of my desire to date a fictional 17 year old boy >_>

acks.

I REALLY hope somone gets it and blogs thier progress, because it sounds LOVE. i could make Tamaki and Haruhi REAL... repeatedly, ad nauseum... literally XD or Honey and Haruhi (already gacks at the weirdness of honey blushing on the promo shots) or one of those weird game only characters... Leo whats-his-name the tamaki/hikaru merge, and the other one that looks like mori/kasanoda...
no... stick to TamaHaru. Daddy wants me toooooo~~~*** or something.

i can just imagine myself sat there with a manaical face, staring into my kanjii book, internet at my side

'Will you what my what?!' o_O

oooo...

that still makes no sense...

ack... i need more time for decisions...

NOOOOOooooooooooo.......

XDDDD

still there is always drawing... but drawings don't have Mamo-chan's droolish worthy voice, and Maya-chan's 'YARE YARE...' XD

-still waiting for chapter 50. T minus 10 days (ish).

Tamamom ficlet / Ouran musings

2007-04-09T00:43:26Z

Me and cup_ramen_chaos (Ryune) were talking today (via MSN) of many things, such as, the mysteries of Kyouya's sex-appeal, and how perhaps his glasses were a lid to contain the immense MOE caused by not wearing the glasses. For without them, Kyouya would be eaten alive by fangirls, laptop and private police or not.
However i have a strange !extra! MOE for Tamaki *with* glasses.
For all things equal and opposite?
the fangirl mind boggles.

the other thing mentioned was Tamaki recieving Kuma-chan. we both supposed the bizzare teddy was given by Yuzuru, Ryune then started a ficlet about such an event.
My mind started working in an strange parallel tangent, and came up with a little ficlet about Tamamom. I've been trying to ditch the inner dubbing of 'michelle' i gave her, since that was the name of the Queen/Princess the host club met in chapters 38 and 39 whom looked like Tamaki's mom... and so i found the name Élodie, which seems quite sad, and beautiful, and thus fitting.
But then i didn't mention it once anyway.

'first night of your life, curled up on your own, looking at you now, you would never know.'
- Wires, Athlete

i don't have such a way with words as alot of the good fanfic writers on here, so gomen ^^

Élodie

She sat as usual, to the side, with a reclined chair and many cushions, in the dappled sunlight from the grand veranda, peering down, with half-closed eyes on her tiny charge. His exploding energy, immense like his grin, wore at her paper-thin grasp on her surroundings, but it wasn’t his fault.

She wished she could lift her arms to calm his exuberance slightly, smooth his beautiful soft cheek and ruffle his hair, however the past 6 months has rendered her incapable of doing more than raising eyelids slightly just to see him.

And to see him was of course an incomparable delight, raising the tiniest of smiles to her white and slightly chapped lips, but it also made her throat dry and hot.

She might have cried, if she had enough energy left to do so.

Four summers had passed since the birth. The doctors had labelled it ‘difficult’, masking the event with a term she saw as strangely euphemistic. She had been in the hospital often since that day. At first it was speculative, hit and miss. She was a tottering elfin mademoiselle, fading slowly like a photograph, It couldn’t have been real; it was an ephemeral affliction, caused by an aching heart.

But as time passed, and the tests became more thorough, they must have hit the crux of the problem, because their heads no longer shook in a mock reassurance, but in a plainly obvious sorrow.

But by then their words no longer made register through her ears, she took their expressions, read them from their actions, and knew the truth of it.

She was used to being dismissed, cast aside, but she wasn’t easily defeated. To be taken gracelessly and in such an unforgiving manner, from the tiny boy’s side was a shame she could barely contain.

But she did, because she could not allow herself to show anger at her condition.

That and it just wasn’t physically possible.

Not at the moment.

But looking at the large violet eyes, shinning brighter than all the lights in Loire and possibly even all of France, even through her leaden lids, she could steel her will, and persevere. Because she was committed to making sure he would keep that light, he would always be loved, and he needed to know that, she would show him again soon.

When they had held snowflakes together, he remarked it was a shame they died in his hands, because couldn’t they live forever if they let them fall?

She had told him they were always going to disappear, but for a short while they graced the world with their beauty, and that was enough.

And for all the wonder, he had nodded.

He understood.

One day he had brought her flowers, but not understanding they required water, they dried and wilted by the evening. As she sat in the dwindling bright light of the day, he returned to her, remarking how the flowers had done her good, for now she had their colour in her face. He seemed so happy about their demise she had to giggle, for he was usually prone to such sulks she was sure he would run to the corner of the room and cry at his mistake.

But she could not predict her son like other people, and that was a very good thing indeed.

His father brought presents and exotic tales, a few days of intense excitement and anticipation, and many more after of recounted tales and speculations, leaving an obvious admiration in her young son’s eyes. The looks his father reserved for her eyes showed his sadness, (which she could just about take) and his love (which she could not).

He would relay the new outlook from the doctor with an eloquence she then waited long months to hear again. Always he spoke with optimism, and it gave her hope, no matter how fleeting.

As time wore on, her son also took on this role, and even at tender years, spoke with such a fairness that she could almost close her eyes and hear the words spoken by his father. But she could feel the boy’s strength was greater, his faith unwavering, and his optimism was shatterproof, and the hope that gave her was no transient thing.

It was very real indeed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I suspect Tamaki's mother had tarrible 'bouts' of illness where she became invalided, and i always assume she was a strong woman, with alot of pride, so she wouldn't take such a thing well.

Tamaki <3

YOU ARE A PIRATE¬!

2007-04-08T19:15:17Z

Ouran Manga colour no. 30000#

PIRATES!

courtesy of chapter 38. Use for whatever you like.

Yar Har fiddli-di! being a pirate is alright with me!

must be accompanied by placing this on in the background XD

Bandanas are coloured to rose colours, for no reason~~. Other than Kyouya looks hot in purple.~~

and Tamaki would be 22 today, so Happy Birthday Tamaki!! even though you're an imaginary character... and i'm slightly mad.

Blog update! and random Tamaki

2007-04-05T23:14:56Z

Tamaki and Haruhi layout :3

and i drew this pic this afternoon, in a direct response to my first rather mopey post today.
I feel alot less Emo-ed out now XD

thoguh i still haven't gone back to FF3. I think i'm sulking still... inside.

How i suck at games... and other doggrel

2007-04-05T09:51:00Z

I got FF3 for my birthday, and i've been playing it ALOT since then.

However, i am a total gametard.

1) I can't figure out how to send messeges, there seems to be no keyboard to put letters in, or anything indicating such a thing exists.
I keep sending blank letters to Sara, she must be sat up in that castle going 'INGUS YOU GOON! WTF IS THIS!!!?!!'

2) I have no idea where the heck i'm supposed to be heading most of the time, leading to me wandering aimlessly killing things i'm pretty sure i killed 10 levels ago and gave much better EXP back then...

3) i use the 'freebie' throw spells i get out of chests to kill bosses, only to realise later, they'd be MUCH more useful on a the boss i'm killing who's beating my head in cos i used all my 'acrtic wind' or whatever.

4) i HATE Gutsco, or 'goblinpoo' as i have now dubbed him. when he turns into a lizard and breaths fire on me, WHY THE HECK DOESN'T ICE ARMOR PROTECT AGAINST THAT?!?!??! i died... first death in the game, and i had to go waaay back to when i first fell back in the boat after the tower of Owen :((((((

5) I was told last night at the pub by a friend who was beatign the game as he served drinks, that i could acually cast spells on more than on thing at once! why don't i read manuals T_T... ACK....

6) If i'd have known 6 before 5, i might not have to fight a million sea serpents again. WOE IS ME.

*i need an Emo corner*

And elite beat agents showed me i have the hand eye coordination of a cyclops chimp.

and why am i eating chocolate easter egg for breakfast, before easter no less...?

*Art rant*

i need to do more drawing, but i feel a bit lack-luster about it atm, and i need to stop stitting there with millions of ouran pics around me drawing the characters within an inch of an image, because that's not me at all is it?
That's just a freaking picture someone else managed to draw easily, but which i need the concentration of a milion buddhas just to get close to.
but if i draw them on my own, without the support of hundreds of reference pictures to gawp at, i feel they look weird and ugly and i just want to scream. I think i'm getting OCD about it or something. It's not like anyone cares how close they are anyway, it's fanart O_o...

I think i got like this because the !pirate ouran! pic i drew is so stupidly popular, i see it all over the internet in ouran picture sections on forums and the like. And is was basically because the characters are very similar to the anime.
And that was last August, when i'd just finished the teaching course and i was with lots of time on my hands, and nothing much to fill it.
sometimes i feel like deleting that picture off DA because i get so annoyed with it.
I often wonder if i actually have an art style, if anything is characteristic of me from one picture to the next, other than the childish technicolour palette (which i presume is because of my need to be very colourful at all times XD) because i can't tell...

Maybe i should draw some of my own stuff for a bit, and forget about my ~~deranged otaku~~ weird desire to have a Tama x Haru shrine of fanart. I really don't need to do any more Tama x Haru really anyway, i have far too much already :D

actually i really want an artsite like i often find japanese people have, with a blog bit, and sketches, and a cg section. My website skills are circa 1998 though, and i can make webpages by hand with html, but i can't use programs, they make me dizzy XD

Life-stuffs

Weather has been amazing here this week, t-shirt and jeans weather, sitting in the park squinting at my DS weather.
My birthday cake was yum, all gone now though, Matt polished it off rather quickly.
I gave Matt a hair cut, he had such long hair he got upset about it being in his eyes all the time.
His hair is blonde, and naturally parts slightly in two tiny partings at the front of his hair, so a little tuff sits in the middle of his forehead. So i was weilding scissors, and holding a perfect opportunity to create a perfect fangirl haircut.
but i have only rudimentary hairdressing skills. (lol)
the only pic i have of him that properly demonstrates the hair homage is this one.

but that was taken last year, and yes, he has a photoshopped t-shirt XD It looks very similar to that again now, which makes me a rather happy girl XDDD

If i could get him to cosplay Tamaki or Ingus, just once *_*
dammit. He'd NEVER do that.

though he'll happy dress up as Lion-o >_> hmmm...

i'm quite happy i finally started using this place, i bought a sub for it when i first joined, for no apparent reason, and now all my layout is squewhiff. Maybe i should splash out and look for a nice layout. the Iridescent Jewel image of Tamaki on my background is smexy but a bit off-putting XD

Ouran Cake!

2007-03-30T20:15:40Z

Me and my best mate Andrea baked a cake today (actually i baked and iced the damn thing and she made a bunbun some petals, and a mess XD)
i decided on an ouran cake... i was gonna go the whole hog and go for a tamaki cake, but meh, i'm just not l33t enough to do a human character cake. i can do animals, crests, but not faces.

so here it is :3

http://www.skelleftea.co.uk/ourancakeie.jpg

<3

Lots of the Random! (and spoilers)

2007-03-24T23:23:11Z

Going home to Grimsby this week, as i took a week off to celebrate my 25th and also to sort out the impending wedding.

I just recently got my mum using MSN, and she's starting to drive me insane.

My mother and i have an amicable silent agreement not to bother each other. Our personalities are completly mismatched, and we just make each other angry. This of course was hard going up, but easier past the age of 18 when i've only seen her for a few days a year.
But now she has MSN, and she's on it every night, asking me pointless questions xD
that, and she talks in text-speak. The bane of the Earth.

I have to stay with her when i go home, which is another reason why going home is hard work!

that and it's 5 hours away on the train >_>

Still! it'll be good to get more sorted, and prove i can do this wedding xD

honestly, having me organise anything, is definately a recipe for disaster. I am one of the most poorly organised people ever, and never ever have things sorted in time. I do have a good memory though, so generally if someone asks me to do something i will...
Not necessarily when they ask, but still XD

Wednesday will be amusing >_> mother plans to take me out for a meal. If my dad is there too, there will be a stony silence and all questions will be aimed at me T_T; if Matt is there, it won't be quite as bad XD

and finally!

Chapter 49 is out, the contest of Tamaki vs Kyouya ends (very cutely) and it seems for chapter 50 onward, Yuzuru has planned a trip for the second years to France?
Tamaki and Kyouya's field trip!

A few things this is likely to mean:-

1)Tamaki is caught in a conflict of seeing his mother / not seeing her
2) Kyouya is of some aid in this matter
3) the rest of the club end up coming to help? - Haruhi hasn't got a passport... I'm really not sure about this then.
4) Tamaki is forced to make some kind of choice. As to the severity of this, it waits to be seen.

Should Tamaki meet his mother, will she be instrumental in some way to resolving Tamaki's inner ~~stupidity~~ conflict?
will his grandma find out and go postal?

This is perhaps the most exciting thing to be disclosed since chapter 45 and Kaoru confessing to Honey about Haru...
XDDD

frankly, i shouldn't be allowed to be this obsessed with a manga, it can't be good for my health.
and this shot?

AWWWWWW!!!! XDDDDD (sorry for the blur)

i'm a sucker i know O_O;

Thank you :3

2007-03-09T08:55:59Z

I seriously didn't expect replies! :3

I had a good word with Matt last night, and as i expected, he was all for me going for the job, or any job there, so i could get out of here.

'I'll commute!' he added cheerfully, if not a little unrealistically XD

Seems he wants a steadier job so he can focus his free time on new projects with his friends, as they are currently trying to put a pitch together for a pre-school show about a grandad who reads stories to his grandaughter. ^^ *so cute*
atm he works every day from 9-6, and then comes back most evenings to work till 1am in a bar to make enough money for us to live.
I feel terrible about all that anyway, but i never asked him to do the bar work, he took that on himself and i keep telling him to quit.
but that's beside the pont.

So anyway, it transpires that i shall rework my CV this weekend and pass it on with a cover letter to Trina.
If i do get this job, we might actually get to go to Florida for our honeymoon! :3

yay for Disney world and the land of waterparks :3

and thankyou. I really hate feeling down like that, i really try to stay positive most of the time!!!

back to drawing the doujinshi XDDD

thanks guys ^^ i felt so happy reading all your comments and advice and stuff. Still not looking forward to turning 25 though XD
i'm soooooo glad i'm told i only look about 19 XD

Feeling on a knife's edge.

2007-03-08T23:23:20Z

I'm sorry this is gonna be an essay. I need to pour me heart out somewhere, and here's as good as anywhere.

I fell in love with a great guy at 18, at first sight no less, a blonde, slightly confused, head ducking under the work canteen door, trying not to be noticed, when all the world would notice because of his height ^^ *remembering makes me smile*
But having been consistantly burned, (long awkward story) and so very unsure of myself, i did nothing.
i went to uni, i got my first boyfriend, he cheated on me, i got dumped, and i came home a shell, and went back to work...
and there he was again, and somehow, his cheerful pretty face made me hope for something more than i though i could get, a guy as pretty as him would never like a girl like me.
But he did.

and though we'd never said a word to each other, ever, we were set up on a date, and inexplicably, we never let each other go.

He went to uni when i started my third year, and when i started my fourth year, there was no doubt in my mind i wanted to follow him and go wherever he wanted.
I came to live with him three years ago, i just got a 2:1 masters in chemistry. But i hadn't taken chemistry because i wanted a career in it, oh no... i chose it because i thought i should choose something clever T_T...
I'm a freaking fool!
i took a year out and got a crapy job in retail while matt finished his second year. I decided that year my escape from lab work was teaching, and that didn't seem a bad idea. So i took a course to train as a teacher. I would finish the same year as Matt finished his degree... All was good... so i thought.

Matt finished his animation degree June last year and went straight into freelancing. He did well, though the work isn't consistant.
I just finished my teaching course and should have gone into a teaching job.
but i didn't. I instead chickened out and got a minimum wage job in a crap hardware shop, i excused myself by saying i felt i'd tie us down if i got a proper job, and Matt might have to move us somewhere.
But really, i was probably just scared. The teaching course made me realise how rediclously unprepared and silly i am, i had to live on my teeth to get through it. I passed it well, but i felt scarred and and battered... I'm outgoing, but i'm not a completely natural shows-woman.
charisma is somewhat lacking... I'm not what i'd like to have teaching me, so i feel like i failed. I don't want to be a part of that anymore. I might take up tutoring, but for now, i've ruled out teaching. I lose my soul to it. It just upsets me.

i can't say i've been unhappy, i've been pretty content, i get lots of free time, (My biggest passion is drawing, and i can't feel myself if i don't have time to do it, like a part of my soul is missing...) though the money coming in is rubbish. But my underlying feeling is faliure. I failed my parents, i failed my teachers, Matt... (though oddly i just feel hollow when i think if i failed myself)
i feel embarassed, and stupid. But i couldn't bring myself to do anything about it.
When Matt proposed to me, I decided we had to get out of here, the town we live in is awful, it's a dirty and deprived place, with loads of crime and undesirable people. He'd come here to go to uni, and i'd followed him instinctively, never questioning it.
But i hate the place, sometimes it just brings me to tears. Somehow though, i know he likes it, he has lots of friends here. I don't, so i feel a bit lost.
Despite all that, he swore he'd get me out of here, and tried to get jobs that i know he wouldn't like, in nicer places, and it's been tearing me apart. He didn't get any of them, i'm guessing because truely, he wants to be a character animator, and make cartoons, and that's a dream... I don't have a dream, ( well i do, but it's not a practical one, nor am i good enough at it to make a living out of it.)
I don't want him to settle for anything less than what he set out to do, But he wants me to be happy. Why can't he see i'm only happy when he is? And why can't i bring myself to do the jobs i trained in so that he doesn't need to work for a crappy games company?

'Are you going to live your life wondering
standing in the back, looking around?
are you going to waste your time thinking
how you've grown up
or how you missed out?
things are never going be the way you want
when's it going to get you acting serious?
things are never going to be quite what you want
even at twenty five you got to start sometime.' - A praise chorus - Jimmy eat world

I just listened to that, and it prompted me to writ all this.. i feel rather like that now... Have i been setting myself aside for something i hope he'll acheive? will i regret that later?
i'm 25 in three weeks, and i get married in 8 months.
You know, i know that with all my qualifications, i must be good at SOMETHING. But i have no clue what, i was so used to feeling clever and good at stuff, it got so disconcerting to feel inadequate and rubbish... now i'm so scared to make a move to get something else. I've moaned about all this before... Countless times, but it remains.
Today, my good friend Trina told me she'd asked at her work place (Her rather more charismatic and pro-active boyfriend got a job at a games comany in a very nice place) what someone with my skills would get.
I'd start on 19k (30-34k dollars?), and that'd go up very fast, i'd start off as a trainee executive.. *executive?! me?!*
i currently earn minimum wage, so i'm on 7k a year.
I now feel torn. I didn't think i could get jobs like that!
I know if i go for jobs like that, there, i'd finally feel validated. But would i be happy? and what about Matt? :( i feel like suddenly i'm tearing him away from his dreams.. and that's the last thing i want. Because i know, if i ask him, he'll follow me there.
but it's closer to home there, i worry so much about my parents... and people won't pee in the street outside my windows!!
i know it's a round-a-bout way of saying all that, and there's still lots of other things worrying me i left out, but that's the crux of it.
I don't want to burden my fiance, but i want to feel better about myself finally, and i hope one day i'll find a job that'll have a good work life balance and earn me enough money so i don't have to lie to my mother about what i do.
i'm nearly 25. I should be more mature. I can't run forever can i? :(

*sigh*

if you've managed to read his far, i commend you. *gives you a cookie*

i'm not asking for sympathy, because i know it's all my fault. I just had to say it.

are you my mate then, are ya?

2007-02-16T09:39:10Z

Create your own Friend Test here

i'd be highly suprised if even matt got all these right. i'm such a dufus XD

the answers!

2007-01-20T22:15:40Z

1) Inuyasha

Ryune, and anyone else would probably have guessed that Inuyasha is my favourite. As the first anime character i ever fell for, Inuyasha could only be my favourite character in the titled series XD

2)Ouran High School Host Club

Again, Ryune... but with as much as i prattle about Tamaki it's hardly suprising XD i love Tamaki more than annnnnnnyething XD

3) Urusei Yatsura

ryune was again... right. Lum is my favourite female anime character. she's amazing... i'd love to be able to shoot lightning.

4) Maison Ikkoku

Godai - He's purely and simply a sweetheart

5) Chobits -

Kotoko - the little puple girl with bells. she's a mean ass personcon XD

6) Rurouni Kenshin -

Kenshin - as guessed by Ryune. Kenshin is a darling. he's strong, passionate, and most of all, he's great round the house.

7) Kyou Kara Maoh

ryune guessed... Yuuri. he's cute XD

8) Fruits Basket

Hatsuharu *_* shame he wasn't in it more XD

9) Friends (haha)

Pheobe - Shuki guessed XD i have alot in common with pheebs.

10) Shakugan no Shana - Shana - firehaired sword weilding girls ftw.

11) Bleach (having seen 2 episodes) - Rukia - Shuki guessed. she seemed cool xD

12) the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya - Koizumi - he's just XDDDD sooo fuuny. Not intentionally of course.

13) Full Metal Panic - sousuke XD

14) Full Metal Alchemist - Ed. cos no one messes with Ed. Rune guessed.

15) Death Note - Light. too obvious eh? all mamo-chan's fault i'm afraid.

16) Paradise Kiss - hiroyuki - soooooo kind *_*

17) Ranma 1/2 - Ranma. can't help it XD

18) Naruto (why not, everyone else watches it) - Emo boy Sasuke. shuki guessed. - he's very pretty.. and i've never seen it to have it ruined for me XD

19) Howl's Moving castle XD - Howl - duh XD Ryune guessed. though, a bit too easy ;)

20) the Lion King... (cos i can.) - Rafiki. 'you follow old rafiki! he know the way!!' xD

bagsybabe @ 2007-01-15T21:12:00

2007-01-15T21:19:45Z

RIGHT!!!

Ryune got me thinking...

20 FAN BASE CHARACTER SEACH GET THING!

(basically you guess who my favourite character is and win... nothing! but it's fun. trust me.)

1) Inuyasha

2) Ouran High School Host Club

3) Urusei Yatsura

4) Maison Ikkoku

5) Chobits

6) Rurouni Kenshin

7) Kyou Kara Maoh

8) Fruits Basket

9) Friends (haha)

10) Shakugan no Shana

11) Bleach (having seen 2 episodes)

12) the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

13) Full Metal Panic

14) Full Metal Alchemist

15) Death Note

16) Paradise Kiss

17) Ranma 1/2

18) Naruto (why not, everyone else watches it)

19) Howl's Moving castle XD

20) the Lion King... (cos i can.)

bagsybabe @ 2006-12-14T13:40:00

2006-12-14T14:05:59Z

Icon bases!

I love to colour manga scans, so in a strange burst of fanaticism i coloured a whole bunch of Tamaki scans
to make Tamaki-bases.

there are a couple i turned into Icons also.

and there's one random-ish Haruhi scan XD

Facination
Sparkle
Singing
Back to Happiness
Feeling ill
Confusion
Fevered Dreams
Netsu
Enigmatic
Haruhi	-	-
Kissed

All from chapters 40-44.
Some come with larger bases, i'll probably do alot more of these... i enjoyed it a little too much ^^
The white spaces on some of them are good for text, or if you're talented, you could cut then out and put your own background in.
i'm not terribly used to making these... so the backgrounds arn't terribly inspired.
if there's any requests, i'll put up the original colours with white backgrounds

and the last picture of a rather shocked Haruhi = <3

use as you wish ^^

why do boys stink?

2006-12-14T00:00:15Z

the bathroom out.

i don't think i do that... ever. XD
holy hell.

*barf*

bagsybabe @ 2006-12-04T13:54:00

2006-12-04T13:54:38Z

Title: Reasoning the unreasonable.
Featuring: Haruhi / Tamaki
Genre: Waff
Words: 990
Rating: 12+ ?
Warnings: none save my own odd grammar. XD
Notes: ' She had felt she could have resisted him forever, unyielding and unimpressed, disregarding him completely.
He has seemed so pointless and pompous at first, a non-event, a nonsense, Nothing of consequence at all.'

I’ve been watching your world from afar,

I’ve been trying to be where you are,

And I’ve been secretly falling apart, unseen.

To me, you’re strange and you’re beautiful

You’d be, so perfect with me, but you just can’t see

You turn every head, but you don’t see me.

I’ll put a spell on you, you’ll fall asleep,

I’ll put a spell on you, and when I wake you,

I’ll be the first thing you’ll see,

And you’ll realise that you love me.

~~ Aqualung, Strange and Beautiful.

i was listening to this on repeat XD it has relevance i think... somehow XD

Spoilerish blab.

i've been translating alot of ouran stuff to pass my time, and to cure my insane curiosity to know everything...
I translated a little chart in chapter 44 that mapped Haruhi's thoughts about Tamaki. Although nearly half the pie chart stated she found him annoying or troublesome, there were three other sections. A quarter was taken up by a section i translated to 'honorable / respectful' a bit of her understands his good nature and ability to help others. The remaining sections took up about a third, the smallest of which was a small chunk marked 'kissing demon' (XDDD) she has such an awareness of him, like i dont think she posesses with any of the other hosts. She remains wary of him after 4 chapters.

The remaining part, suprisingly large, was 'significance unknown'
and my head ran riot with that.
you can see the chart here

anyway. i wrote this as a result.

i warn you, this is waffier than anything i've ever written before..

Reasoning The Unreasonable

Her hand folded under his. Although it had been she who had moved, a wave of reservation hit her, prickling her skin, and clenching her gut. Regardless, she still quested for his warmth with her face held to his chest, a tight breath of air left her, like a sigh, a small resignation.

How did she get here?

She didn’t like to ask herself fanciful questions, but with matters concerning him it seemed necessary, and unavoidable.

Her other hand had found the small of his back, where it climbed under the fabrics of his shirt and sweater and rested on his warm velvet skin. A pang of nervousness hit her at this unreserved action and the additional closeness. She could now feel his heart beating in her head. The fact his heartbeat mirrored her own, fluttering fast and hard, was not a comfort. She didn’t appreciate the giddy feelings suffusing her body, but the added warmth it seemed to generate within her was welcome, it was so cold away from him, as if she told herself that was why she stayed in his arms.

These small internal protests were now somewhat meaningless. The rest of her mind had stopped listening to them, it had ceased to matter some time ago, but someone or something had found it fine jest not to tell her, leaving her confused at herself, but conflict grew weaker day by day.

At which point had this become okay?

Safe?

… A desire even.

She remembered she had felt she could have resisted him forever, unyielding and unimpressed, disregarding him completely. He has seemed so pointless and pompous at first,

A non-event,
A nonsense,
Nothing of consequence at all.

If he hadn’t managed to pervade her every waking day, and force his way into her sphere of thought, it would have stayed that way. No one had ever invaded her time so completely before, managed to make her take note of their presence in her life so utterly. He had seemingly, a way of permeating even the toughest wall, the strongest of barriers, finding gaps and cracks that no one else would ever know were there, and without detection seep through, slowly, but relentlessly. It wasn't so much as she hadn’t noticed this invasion of her thoughts, or her feelings, but rather failed to understand thier implications until it was too late. She had been so busy trying to stop his more troublesome nature, his annoying mannerisms and the strange uncomfortable awareness she had of him, that she had let him win her over though his good nature, his open generosity and pure heart. But she hadn’t seen it; she had accepted it, without knowing what she had signed for.

Now she was aware of it, she was almost disappointed at herself. She had better things to think about surely, than the feel of his lips on her forehead, the ruffle of his hand through her hair, being pressed to the nape of his neck, and sensing his breath? Perhaps it was these things she fought?

But now she understood you couldn’t fight him or anything he did, he would eventually win, he always did.

She guessed she didn’t mind that really. He may be troublesome, but his intentions were good.

She closed her eyes; his arm was around her now, holding her in as if he was afraid she might run off. She was aware of everything, with senses heightened by the unfamiliarity of the situation. Perhaps a tiny part of her still wanted to fight it, reluctant to admit defeat, or perhaps it was due to something else, something she had no experience of…

maybe she wasn’t just resigned to this… she wanted this.

He hadn’t just invaded her life; he had made her want him to occupy part of it. She could have felt incredulity at that thought, but nothing appeared pre-meditated with him. It was as if he had no awareness of his strength, beside his innate positivity. This must have been how he worked his way into everyone’s lives, forcing his way through, in waves of good intention and bluffing foolish idiocy. The lines of reason and comprehension underlying his surface were blurred and inconsistent. Just how much did he understand? Would he ever truly get to grips with his ability to bring anyone he chose to his side?

He let go of her hand and stroked her hair gently. He hadn’t spoken for some time, perhaps aware to say something might spoil the rare self-indulgent mood she was in.

Her first hand joined the second, warm under his clothes, holding his back gently. The starchy cotton of his shirt was rough, but not unpleasant. She burrowed her cheek in a little more, noticing the tiny shiver he gave, fragile and fluttering at her touch. She breathed another small sigh.

Could she get used to this?

Did she even want to?

Questioning and re-questioning, trying to find reasons when there didn’t seem to be any. She would certainly have been calmer, more ordered without him.

But looking back now, could she see herself happier?

That hadn’t seemed important before.

But now it did.

In the warmth, at his chest, there was some kind of peace. A new kind, one she was getting familiar with, one she liked. It seemed yes, the feelings mingled with the reluctance were happy ones.

Haruhi let a deep smile draw over her face, and taking a deep breath snuggled in a little harder.

She could cope with this.

And it seemed she wanted to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm more at home drawing things tha writing them down, but i thought i'd share... ^^

A cheque to pay in total

2006-10-20T21:24:39Z

My second Ouran fic, and also my second Haruhi x Tamaki.
Though originally it was three times as long and mostly about Hikaru. i cut my loses, this was the best bit. After all, i've always wanted to know how this would play out, and i hope one day Hatori does play it out.
or i'll be so sad XD

1448 words

i've been working full time preparing my workplace for christmas. we sell decorations. so i've been putting up trees... millions of trees... and baubles, tinsel, ribbon, everything. so this kind of came to me in between the branches, so to speak...

anyway, enjoy ^^

i do like Kyouya in this XD

A cheque to pay in total

Tamaki ran to the door flailing slightly, Kyouya placed and arm in front of him, blocking his escape.

You mean, Haruhi’s out there… with one of those unscrupulous twins??’ he was in wild mode, his voice whiny and high pitched.

It was cold outside, and he hadn’t realised they had ran to the door.

Kyouya wasn’t impressed.

Tamaki hadn’t grasped the gravity of the situation at all.

‘Tamaki.’ Said Kyouya, looking straight into Tamaki’s wildly moving eyes, and finally pinning them to the spot, ‘I told you already, Hikaru saw you with Haruhi, and he ran off.’ he stopped, for Tamaki looked more and more like he was about to collapse.

‘I’m pretty sure he told her.’

Tamaki’s eyes now looked… bewildered.

But really, he hadn’t been doing anything with Haruhi, how could he? they’d been hanging christmas decorations in the third music room, as they had been for several evenings now, until they’d met, in the middle of one of the sides of the room with a bump, which wasn’t anything particularly strange, (he did seem to lose his natural grace around her it seemed) but then Tamaki had realised he was holding mistletoe… which had been difficult to deal with.

He found himself fighting the urge to kiss Haruhi, not for the first time, but definitely with a hundred times the resolve. It had thumped in his head like a steel drum, practically hurting him, making his heart thump in rhythms that were deeply disconcerting.
It hadn’t helped that she stood there, looking confused, and so ridiculously cute he could have died. And for all the drama, he really meant that.
But then Hikaru had walked in, and seen more into the situation than had really been there. or maybe the amount that actually had been there, had been enough... either way, he'd not been impressed.
Tamaki couldn’t remember Hikaru’s words, but he did remember his angry and hurt face, and Haruhi running after him calling him, and the fact she’d turned and looked back at him, looking for all the world, a little …flustered? Maybe.

Still, he couldn’t have predicted any of that.

‘I… I… I…‘ he stammered. ‘I never knew… Hikaru… had… …for Haruhi…’
He couldn’t bring himself to say the word ‘feelings’ somehow. It took all he had to even utter the rest of the sentence, it seemed distasteful.

‘Perhaps I should…’ he said, now turning around, feet not co-operating quite as they should, blankly trying to feel his way to somewhere this wasn’t happening. He was starting to crumble.
Kyouya had somehow expected this.

‘TAMAKI.’ Kyouya said, louder, a little more hoarsely maybe, but still with control.

‘You have to realise. it's now or never.’

‘Realise?’ Tamaki said, lingering over the words as if they were alien to him, losing more and more grasp on the situation by the minute.

he’d been shuffling about quietly and awkwardly, his rear finally found a seat, which he collapsed into, with a heavy thud.

Kyouya blinked.

‘YES.’ He said pointedly. ‘Realise. Make your decision.' he paused, and took a deep breath. ' What does Haruhi really mean to you?’

Tamaki’s eyed widened to an all-time record diameter. His face drew whiter, and he blinked, repeatedly. What did she really mean to him? Well… wasn’t it obvious?

‘Haruhi…. i… love her… she’s my… Daugh…’

‘TAMAKI!’ Kyouya growled gruffly, interupting Tamaki, grasping his friend’s shoulders and shaking him slightly, ‘THINK PLEASE.’

The slightly taller blonde boy thought intently, but mostly about the fact he was losing his gentle and wonderful daughter, the light of his admittedly short but triumphant life, the apple of his eye, the…

But somewhere, deep within the confusing myriad that was Tamaki’s mind, a voice was shouting…

Why should Hikaru get to have her?

A father had to let his daughter go didn’t he? He didn’t want to, he definitely didn’t want to, but perhaps he had to?

‘TAMAKI!!’ Kyouya shouted. His eyes were nearly as wild as Tamaki’s own now, and he was really shaking him, it was starting to jar his neck.

Tamaki was so painfully slow.

‘I er.. er…’ Tamaki couldn’t find any more words, he was resigned to fate, limply sat in a heap, he couldn’t find any more spirit to lift himself, just the dull resignation, a duty… he felt sick. he closed his eyes and they grew warm and moist.

Suddenly, he felt something hot and sharply stinging, a force that moved his face across with such force he saw small black spots. The moisture that had gathered the instant before in his eyes ran down his face.
‘uhhhh….’ He moaned, when his breath returned to him. He started rubbing the spot where Kyouya’s hand had met with his flesh.
‘Kyouya!’ he gasped, shocked and hurt bottom lip wibbling, trying to realise why of all the people in the world, his best friend would choose to do that, right when his world was falling apart… right as he had to give up Haruhi...

‘I’m sorry, but I had to make you wake up, snap out of it…’

Tamaki still looked confused.
Kyouya gritted his teeth. here goes… he thought. He’d held this back quite a while now.

‘Tamaki… you’re in love with her.’

It was loud against the absolute silence of the room, the words seemed to linger cold in the air for a long time.

Kyouya’s body froze with hearing his own words, but he carried on.

‘You’ve always been in love with her.’

He was throwing them out now, they sounded hard and harsh, but Kyouya had decided, it was time.

If now was not the time, when would it ever be?

‘Not like a father Tamaki, but like a man.’

He stopped… and sat down himself, beside his best friend feeling empty, and suddenly noticing the cold. but, It was done.

Tamaki said nothing for what seemed like an eternity.

‘I uhhh… uhhh…’ he began, very quietly at first, but gathering voice, as if somewhere a tiny part of himself had stopped falling endlessly into a black hole, and had found a way out, back into open space, back into the open air.

Suddenly it seemed Kyouya’s words had caught onto something in there and started cogs.

Tamaki’s slow, dead mind began to think, sluggishly dragging out memories, winding right back to the second he first set eyes on her, scruffy, confused, and bewildered, when he’d embarassingly thought she was a boy, and there it was, a small seed, a tiny thought process, ‘cute’ it had said.

When he’d opened that curtain, and Haruhi had turned, shielding herself, her flesh so pure, so smooth and definitely that of a girl, then that seed that would not have come to aught alone, was planted.
‘Wow’ he had thought perhaps a little in relief, before blushing violently.

When she’d fallen into his arms, on a stormy evening, where she’d been frightened half to death, that seed had opened, and started to grow,
‘Warm’ was the thought that came back, and a longing, to repeat the action to hold her again, forever.

And on that day when Haruhi confessed to him that she had always followed the shadow of her mother too, it had bloomed into a giant colourful flower.
‘Kiss her’ he’d thought. But that wasn’t enough to break his self-imposed illusion obviously.

But now, after all this time, it had eventually borne fruit.

Kyouya was right.

Kyouya… was... right.

‘So this is love?’ he thought, somewhat painfully amused, the last and most remarkable line of a train of realisation that left him feeling more numb than he was a few seconds before, if that had been possible.

Kyouya looked across at Tamaki who was stuck in the pain and happiness of release from what seemed like years of disillusion, and mentally signed off the cheque that meant he was now no longer in debt to his best friend. Everything Tamaki had ever done for him, had been repaid in full, and stamped.
He thought back to Haruhi telling him he didn’t find merit in her body, that stormy night at the mansion, but that wasn’t exactly true was it?, somehow though the merit of paying off Tamaki was worth more... Perhaps Tamaki’s better nature had worn off on him after all.

Just my luck, Kyouya thought grimly.

Suddenly Tamaki stood bolt upright and looked like he was about to act.

‘What are you going to do then?’ Kyouya asked him worried slightly that Tamaki might ruin it for himself.

‘I…’ Tamaki started, a second wave of realisation running over his face.
‘I don’t know…’
He stopped, and sat back down.

Kyouya sighed deeply. Very deeply indeed.

‘Kyouya…’ he said, his voice was high and pinched, and tinged with fear.

‘What if she… what if Hikaru… what if I’m too late?’

He was staring out into the wall, in his newly found situation, he knew he was vulnerable, and he was understandably terrified.

‘In my honest opinion Tamaki, he said, pushing his glasses back up his nose slightly, you’ve won most of the battle in the past few minutes. ‘

He couldn’t speak for Haruhi, but Kyouya had noticed, even if no one else had, how she had been gradually changing, warming to Tamaki slowly, noticing all his good points, and managing to put aside his more annoying points, even if sometimes he drove her to distraction. But even that though, was in a way, all leading her to the point where today, she might have even been taken in by him, distracted, if only for a second.
Still, Haruhi was as oblivious of her feelings as Tamaki had been of his.
Would Tamaki manage to tell her in the right way that didn’t drive her away?

That would be up to him. Kyouya thought.

He had already repaid his debt. His part was done.

Tamaki arose again.

‘I’m going to find her.’ He said frowning.

There was a serious finality in his words Kyouya never heard from Tamaki before.
Tamaki had taken it seriously and could do this. With this kind of resolve within him, he could do anything. That was his gift, and the reason so many had flocked to be with him. Kyouya smiled.

A second later he was enveloped with long arms, blonde hair falling over the top of his glasses and into his eyes.

‘Thank you Kyouya.’ He heard in his right ear.

It was simple, but it was heartfelt.
Kyouya coughed slightly.

‘One day’ Kyouya said, now hugging Tamaki back, ‘you’ll have to find a way to repay me’
Technically, he had signed it off, so there was no debt, but for some reason, he wanted Tamaki to think there was.

Tamaki let go and grinned at him impishly.

‘Of course’ he said. ‘I would expect no less of my shadow king.’

With that, Tamaki ran to a mirror, removed his blazer, ruffled his hair and loosened his tie slightly.

Of course, he was well aware of the form he was most alluring in.
At times he probably thought of nothing else.

‘I’ll be careful’ he said, turning to face Kyouya again. ‘Since Hikaru probably dislikes me intently…’ he frowned.

He wouldn’t have wanted it to be like that, but he couldn’t take it back, so what would be... would be.

'...and Haruhi… she’s probably confused enough. I shouldn’t add to that…
But if I’m there for her…’

‘You’re always there for her.’
Kyouya said wryly. Tamaki smiled meekly.

‘I better go.’ He said.
He smiled again, and with that, sprinted off down the grounds, disregarding completely the fact it was freezing outside.

Kyouya chuckled.
All that was left to do now was to get a drink and await the inevitable return of the twins, the furore of Hikaru, and hope it all held together enough,
Enough for his cheque to pay off.

But Kyouya guessed it would eventually.
He was after all, seldom wrong.

~~ fin~~

bagsybabe @ 2006-10-19T19:07:00

2006-10-19T18:08:25Z

just a re-done scan from the drama cd XD
i was quite happy with the results... ^^

hurrah for the drama cd XD

On Birthdays [mostly Tamaki centric, with a little light tama x haru fluff.]

2006-10-15T18:26:21Z

i posted this before, on a messege board at 'for richer or poorer'.

This is a Complete six chapter fanfic i was gonna actually make into a doujin, but i'm rather too ambitious for my own ability, i might get round to trying to draw it, but chances are, i'll be eternally scared off by inadequacy.

i have never posted a fanfic before. and this is only the second one i have ever written. I have a degree in Chemistry, English was only kinda a subject i was good at XD so excuse all clumsy sentences.

i tried to keep everyone in character, i think perhaps at points i made Tamaki too miserable, and Haruhi too concerned, but i tried to make it a logical follow on from events in the latest manga chapters, so knowing about those will help this make much more sense. i'm posting all the chapters here. Though i dunno if any of you will bother to read it all, it is kinda long XD

On Birthdays

Chapter 1- In which Tamaki recalls a sulk.

Tamaki sat under the gilded window and frowned. He had only been at the new house in Japan for what seemed like 10 minutes, (though in reality it must have been a couple of hours) and he was already upset.
He had promised his mother he would be strong for her. He had promised himself he would uphold his own standards, a mantra of ideals he held in almost as high esteem as his fine blonde features, but he was finding it was hard to stick to these in the new alien world he had been sent to.
His father was friendly yet distant, odd and enigmatic, Tamaki was not sure how to think or what to do or say in his company. Tamaki was, and had always been, over aware of what was necessary to please, he had learned that quickly, it was a life skill in a world of pointed looks and disapproving nods.
While a second and third warm tear drizzled slowly out of the boy’s down-tilted deep cornflower blue eyes, he recalled how scarce 5 minutes previous (it was in reality probably 15 or more minutes) he had been introducing himself to the housekeepers of the mansion, when he had spotted from the corner of his eye, another stunning lady, grey haired, certainly of later years, but with eyes which sparkled with fire.
He had immediately given the new audience a winning bow and flourish, a few dazzling compliments and greeting her hand gracefully, a deep and sincere smile, and yet, somehow, against all odds, she had given the coldest stare, the hardest deepest biting comments upon his mother, and an order, never to show his deeply distasteful face, and brazen manner to her ever again. So this had been his father’s mother it seemed. And he had done something terribly wrong to offend her. He pondered her graceful beautiful features again. He was very glad to know there were so many beautiful ladies he had inherited his looks from.
Still, this was much a set back to him, he had wanted to blend seamlessly into his new environment, his Japanese was so well practiced no one had even commented he had an accent.
He had decided he couldn’t let the harsh words hurt him, he knew the circumstances of his questionable birth was of much pain to his father’s mother, and the rest of the family, he also knew he was deeply proud of his mother, and only wanted the best for her. For her he could carry the words and still be proud to be whom he was.

Sitting in one of the pink corners of the third music room, some 4 years later, Tamaki recalled how in some ways, nothing had really changed since that day, he had been forced to live apart from the rest of the family, cocooned in his own private world of maids and housekeepers, raising him like a small army of mothers, there was enough beauty surrounding him to keep him smiling, and yet it had all been very lonely.

In other ways however, he noted, gazing across sharply at a small dark-haired presence and flushing violently, things had changed a great deal.

Chapter 2 – In which Haruhi Puzzles over a smile.

His eyes guarded under floppy blonde locks, Tamaki met eyes with the unexpected seventh host club member. Huge determined brown eyes blinked at him, looking instantly surprised then increasingly irked.
Tamaki’s infallible wall of charm had crumbled under the weight of the commoner’s presence, and his wide blue eyes showed straight thorough to waves of innocent shy embarrassment. He was quick to look away, Haruhi could be deeply unsettling to him at times, stirring him up in ways he couldn’t really explain or quantify. He was famously good with women; he knew what to do, what to say, and how far to go to please them. But with Haruhi, not only did the normal levels of charm no even make a register in her face, other than distain or fright, but he seemed to offend her with all the efforts he made to get others to accept her and her quaint commoner ways.

Tamaki couldn’t keep her in his head for long these days, without starting to get horrifically confused. He wanted only the best for Haruhi, He found himself holding her above all others, and wanting to see her, and to see her smile, but thinking why made him feel odd, and slightly ill, so he tended to skim over it, and not worry. After all, she was his daughter, his precious little girl, and these were things a good father wanted for his child. He definitely didn’t stop to ponder the more terrifying thoughts that sometimes filled his head featuring Haruhi; he vehemently asserted he was no pervert. His better nature won out most of the time.

Being out of his depth was not something Tamaki was used to. Even when the odds were stacked against him, if he knew his place, he could chip away at any wall, and make some progress, But with Haruhi, He had no idea where he stood, indeed it seemed, none of them did, but the rest of the host club did not seem as preoccupied about this as Tamaki did.

Haruhi stood suddenly and walked over to where Tamaki seemed to be sulking, Tamaki noticed with a slight panic, trying to compose himself to more usual levels as quickly as possible.
She peered at him with slightly glazed disapproving eyes.

‘Sempai! Why are you sat out when the rest of us are working? There’s an ever increasing group of girls waiting for you.’

Tamaki remained quiet for a moment and smiled. It was an admirable effort at a smile, and it would have fooled anyone but Haruhi.

Standing, he walked over to the growing group of girls, now around seven or eight as far as Haruhi could tell, He was posturing, all angled wrists and arms, swished hair and sparkles.

He seemed fine, but the smile had not been an entirely happy one. And Tamaki was not one to seem anything other than entirely happy.

Thinking for a moment, Haruhi looked over at Kyouya, He was, of course, beadily watching her and Tamaki from a distance, though the glasses shone in a way that suggested he was concentrating on a clipboard of figures. Haruhi wondered what he was thinking behind that board. As a wealth of Personal knowledge, she surmised he might have a clue as to why Tamaki was trying to hide some sadness.

“Uh… Kyouya Sempai…”

Kyouya was peering down thorough his thin rimmed glasses. Perhaps he hadn’t been watching after all… Haruhi shook her self a tiny bit. Of course he was watching… even if he wasn’t really watching, he would know exactly what she had been doing. He knew EVERYTHING.

“mmmm...?” Kyouya raised one eyebrow, but did not look away from the folder.

Suddenly Haruhi realised the precarious nature of her question to Kyouya. Ask something about Tamaki, and risk being questioned in return. Then of course, that would then attract the twins, and then everything would be blown way out of proportion…
What should she ask as to not look like she was after information…
It was no use; she would have to try figure it out herself.

“Oh nothing much… I was erm… wondering what my latest debt figure was…”

Good comeback! He would enjoy telling her how much extra debt she had accrued.

Haruhi stopped listening to Kyouya’s list of personal bills for flowers, costumes and the like. She had a sinking suspicion she would never pay off this debt, and indeed, it seemed increasingly less likely they actually wanted her to pay the debt, She was now seemingly there just… because. Only Kyouya seemed bothered about it now, Haruhi certainly didn’t want to bother herself worrying about it anymore.

‘It keeps him happy at least.’ She surmised.

Meanwhile, she occupied herself with possible reasons Tamaki could be upset. A second and a half later, she stopped.
‘Ah…’ she thought,
she realised how often she had seen him sat in that very same corner, sometimes for the most ridiculously minor things ‘It could be literally anything, couldn’t it?'

She let out an audible sigh. Kyouya probably noticed, he had stopped reciting his list now.

‘Is something else the matter?’ He asked, a wry smile on his face.

“Uh… nothing!” She said, slightly panicked.

“Uhhhhhhhh… Haruhi… there you are!” Two voices said in unison.

Great, more complications. With those two confusing her, Kyouya would probably try interrogation tactics. Time to escape…

“Hikaru, Kaoru, I have to go back to my clients, I’ll talk to you two a bit later.”

“awwww… you’re no fun!” Hikaru said in return, but he was talking to her back, Haruhi was busy apologising to Kurakano-san already, and was about to pour her some tea.

Chapter 3 - In which Kyouya is fooled

Kyouya looked over to Tamaki, who despite chatting amiably to his ladies, was ocassionally glancing over to Haruhi with doleful eyes.

Thankfully his clients didn’t notice, another Moe rampage of Kasonoda proportions was not what Kyouya wanted Tamaki to produce. Thinking Tamaki was gay would disappoint over half the host club clientele, and that wouldn’t produce good figures.

His current fatherly attitude was holding up very well under all kinds of strain that Tamaki seemed to fall under, almost always under the conviction of his own stupid mouth, or skewed thought processes.

It was good for them all that it did, Kyouya reasoned, jotting down some notes to himself on the subject while he was thinking. If Tamaki were to fully realise the true gravity of his feelings, He would not only make trouble for the club, but for Haruhi too, and himself. He was better off not being aware. At least until the host club broke of it’s own volition. Then he could do as he liked, within reason.

But still, there was something about Tamaki’s innocent doleful eyes that could burn down into even Kyouya’s thoughts, reaching for heartstrings to pull.

He did the best job of resisting the puppy-eyes that he possibly could, but as often as not he caved in to the latest desire of Tamaki’s ever changing mind, with many heavy leaden sighs.

It looked like today would be one of those days. Haruhi had obviously noticed something odd with Tamaki today, and was trying to ask about it. But of course, she would never ask about Tamaki. He expected that.

He looked ok… just… a bit lovelorn. But that was pretty usual as of late. Besides, the customers would be leaving shortly, he would enquire casually then.

* * *

Looking deeply at the floor, after the last of his clients had left, Tamaki sat thinking back to the first day in Japan once again.
His mother’s tears stayed with him, but he felt sure he would see her again someday, somehow, and then she would smile for him, and it would be ok. He hoped.

Today was his mother’s birthday and he could do nothing about it. He had decided not to say anything again this year, as there seemed no point, there was nothing he could do to see her, to wish her happy birthday, other than in his head, for himself. His father always made himself especially busy around this time too, not that he felt it proper to talk to his father about her.

And anyway, why make others sad about something as personal as this?

Still, something in his head was suggesting he tell someone this year. Although, strictly speaking, it wasn’t just ‘someone’ his mind was suggesting. It was her again; Haruhi was messing with his nicely arranged well learnt boundaries, and turning his thoughts in circles.

He had already fantasised 5 times this morning of imparting his sad story to her, and her comforting him with warm tear-stained hugs. As usual, thoughts of hugging Haruhi left him feeling happy, but oddly bereft, and even more despondent.

But he couldn’t ever be as cheap as to go against the wishes of his mother. He swore he would be strong, and he would. Besides, bringing Haruhi into his arms with such a story, however wonderful the outcome, was just not… right. Perhaps it was strange that a daughter should console a father…

Tamaki shook his head unconsciously, he’d got confused about this all before, and still not really come to a conclusion, it was probably best he forgot about the current train of thought.
As he searched his mind for a way to get out of the rut she was somehow dragging him into, Kyouya suddenly loomed overhead like a dark cloud.

“Anything the matter Tamaki?” he enquired. Tamaki noted deep inside the usual clear poker-straight expression there was a tiny note of concern. That was enough to help him smile.

“No! Nothing at all! In fact, I’m going to do some more research into commoner games tonight!” it wasn’t exactly a lie, he did intend on doing just that, later on.

Tamaki’s smile was full of the usual fuzzy idiocy, Kyouya blinked and turned around.

“You could spend some time thinking into some more host club themes if you have time to do that.” He said pointedly.

Haruhi must have been mistaken.

Chapter 4 – In which Haruhi listens to the piano.

Haruhi talked absently to Hikaru about Kaoru’s (and his own) new favourite type of commoner coffee.
(It had been on offer at the supermarket this week, but had become an instant hit (no pun intended -.-))
Honey and Mori had gone early, Honey to practice martial arts at home, and Mori to practice Kendo, He also, apparently, had to fetch his brother, but it was only by Honey divulging information, that anyone learnt anything about Mori.

As the others left, Haruhi went to pick up her bag from the back room.

She had tried to forget about Tamaki’s pained smile through talking to Kurakano-san, but had, infuriatingly, for reasons unknown, not managed to shake the odd expression out of her head. She had not seen him leave, but he didn’t seem to still be there when she entered the backroom. He usually said goodbye to her with a great flourish, so it was odd that he would just leave. Unless he was busy. Haruhi gave a small giggle in spite of herself,
He was always busy, but it was what he was busy with that was usually pointless and ridiculous, and not worth the effort.

Well, at least sometimes it was, she corrected herself subconsciously.

her thoughts then suddenly turned to the kiss Tamaki had planted on her forehead, it was odd how she still occasionally thought back to that, she would never know what prompted him to do that it seemed. She sighed despite herself, and wandered back to the door, chiding herself for thinking this much about the dopey blonde leader of the host club. She would go home, and have the beef stew she had been thinking about all day, and do her homework.

She was smiling when she opened the door at the thought.

Something caught her senses the minute the door was ajar, it was an oddly haunting sound, tinged with sorrow and loss, Haruhi found herself stood mouth suddenly slightly agape, listening to the beautiful melody she was confronted with.

The music room was being used?

She shuffled to the door as quickly as possible, embarrassed to hear what seemed to be a deeply heartfelt rendition of a lullaby by one of the western great composers, probably Brahms.

Even if she wasn’t sure of the piece, it seemed quite personal.

As she opened the door to leave, she cast a glance to the player, wondering who was such an accomplished Pianist.

She dropped her bag again.

Tamaki was playing to himself. And suddenly, Haruhi realised she had been immersed into the past with him, hearing the songs he played his ailing mother, while he stayed in; ignoring the childhood he was supposed to be enjoying, to be by her side.

She should have known it was him, perhaps that was why she looked across to see who was playing. She knew of course he was good at piano, but the feeling he was pouring into this song stirred sadness within her.
He hadn’t noticed her, she could slip out the door, and perhaps a few months or weeks ago she might have convinced herself she could, but she decided it was best to go ask him if he was ok, even if it was just to make herself feel better about then leaving.

Taking a deep breath, still wondering if she really ought to interrupt, Haruhi wandered over to the piano to confront Tamaki.

Chapter 5 – In which a question is asked.

Tamaki was not thinking about anything other than playing, when he suddenly sensed someone else near him. As he casually looked up, expecting to see Kyouya, he instead saw those familiar large dark round eyes looking right back at him and she looked unsure and embarrassed.

Seeing her look so heart-wrenchingly cute sent him into waves of crimson blushes once again, This time it wasn’t a daydream, she was actually stood there, and now he had no idea what the heck to say to her, He had to be positive, even though he realised she would know now he was feeling low today. She had raised a tiny blush to her cheeks which sent him into a state of semi-delirium.

She was so insanely cute! He resisted for the millionth time, since he’d met her, picking her up and very tightly hugging her tiny cute little self for the rest of his blissful life.

Haruhi saw Tamaki blush, and panicked, he must have been embarrassed… in turn she also blushed in embarrassment, and almost turned to go.

“Haruhi…”
Tamaki’s voice was a little wobbly, but it often was when he worked himself up.

“Sempai… I um… You play very well.”
Haruhi had partially chickened out. He’d probably tell her what was wrong in a second anyway she reasoned. She didn’t want to prompt a melodrama out of him.

“Thank you!” He started. “I didn’t think anyone was here… My mother was particularly fond of that piece.”
His face had started off quite sad, but recovered remarkably quickly, in fact, the smile he gave was as sure as usual, as bright and full of confidence.

Unexpected though his response was, Haruhi smiled.

“It sounded familiar to me somehow.” Haruhi said wistfully, “I can see why she’d like it.”
Tamaki positively beamed back at her, with him looking much happier, Haruhi felt better about leaving him there. As she turned, he spoke again.

“Haruhi?” Tamaki’s eyes were full of sudden seriousness.

“Uh... yes?” She said cautiously, unsure as usual, of what he would say next.

“A while ago during the culture festival I asked if you’d like to see some photos of my mother…” He seemed to be slightly shuffling his feet.

“Of course Sempai” Haruhi said smiling again.

Wait… did he mean now?

“Today’s her birthday. I think today might be a good day for you to see her. She’s very beautiful you know, I know she’d have liked you.”

Haruhi’s heart gave a heavy sigh. Her birthday? Again, his attitude to it all astounded her, He wanted to cherish the memories of his mother, he didn’t seem fazed by the sadness in his life. She felt kind of happy he wanted to share the photos with her.
Haruhi picked up her bag and followed a now highly bouncy Tamaki to the door; she’d have to forget about the stew for now.

Chapter 6 – In which Memories are cherished

Haruhi had seen the stunning blonde lady before, When Tamaki had been ill with a cold, she had found a photo of himself and his mother, they looked so happy, she hadn’t known really what to say. But Tamaki seemed to have forgotten that fact, but then, he seemed to have forgotten a lot about his cold, she noted again.

As he opened a large wooden box that he retrieved from under his bed, he smiled. There were bundles of photographs inside, a few other objects, including a few pressed flowers, a few coins, a yellow yoyo, and some letters, though they didn’t seem to have envelopes with them.

He sat opposite Haruhi, his eyes wide with pride, and spread out a few photos in front of her. The photos looked fairly old, and the woman within them was young, smiling, and lovely. The resemblance to Tamaki was obvious; He seemed to share most of his facial features with her, including the smile she happily displayed. Haruhi wondered if he realised that fact. Every time he smiled, it was as if she was smiling thorough him.

Haruhi’s heart suddenly felt very heavy, it had all reminded her of her own mother, and how she wanted so badly to follow her, to succeed as she did.

‘I may find him hard to understand at times’ Haruhi thought to herself, ‘But I do share something with Tamaki, the loss of a mother. Even if it wasn’t though death in Tamaki’s case, and the feeling of wanting to do well for her sake.’

“My grandma doesn’t know I have these.” Tamaki said, quietly and cautiously.

“Would she take them off you?” Haruhi said quietly, concerned.

“I don’t know.” He replied, truthfully. He looked thoughtful.

“I won’t tell” Haruhi whispered suddenly,

“I know.” He said, turning his gaze to her eyes, and smiling.

He was glad he told her after all. He hoped his mother would have been happy with it too.
No, thinking about it, he was sure she would be.

He scooped up the photos and put them back into the box; Haruhi held the box and closed her eyes. Tamaki had paid respects to her mother while at her house, and she felt the need to do the same, even if she was alive, somewhere.

‘I hope you see him again one day’ she said to the box, in her head.

Tamaki watched with large eyes, She was there, in front of him, eyes closed and with a faraway look on her face, He wished he could hold her, but he, as the father, couldn’t allow himself. He would think rationally.

When Haruhi lowered the box and reopened her eyes, Tamaki was sat quietly, eyes closed.
She very quietly shuffled till she was right in front of him. She took his hands and placed them out in front of him; he opened his eyes, surprised at her touch and watched her with a shocked blush.
She placed the box in his now outstretched hands.

“Thank you Sempai” She said, and smiled again.

Reason left Tamaki Suoh at that moment.

“HARUHI!” he exclaimed extremely loudly, putting the box to the side of himself and systematically squeezing Haruhi’s tiny frame in a very powerful hug.

“CUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE” he squealed, his cheeks a perfect shade of rose red.

Haruhi couldn’t fight the might of Tamaki’s grip, and this time there was no Mori to whisk her out of his grasp. “For crying out loud” she muttered to her self as Tamaki carried on squealing for what seemed like an eternity. Her face firmly pressed to one of his extremely warm cheeks.

As she left the mansion with Antoinette running dizzying circles around her, and Tamaki daftly waving behind her, with an idiotic grin on his face, she tried to reason with herself what had possessed her to act in a fashion which was always going to make Tamaki act like that. She hadn’t a clue, but looking back, perhaps it wasn’t that bad, he was certainly happy now. And she had seen quite a few facets of him that she had never seen before.

Thanks to his excruciating grip her back now ached, she was never going to get to finish her homework, or eat stew, but oddly her cheek felt tingly and sensitive, and still felt warm. She rubbed it absently, and grumbled to herself about how she would never understand him.

The end.

Hello!

2006-10-15T18:12:45Z

i can't say i ever really blogged before, or ever really wanted to.
I've been on deviantart and various forums for quite some time,
so this is both a new and weird transition.

i came on here purely because i am a fangirl, and terribly anxious to post on
the Ouran community post group O_O

sadnes knows no bounds but to be here eh?

not only that, but i can post text based things here, and fan art, and woah, it'll be greet wont it?
well in theory.

anywayz00r.

this is just an opening post like, before pink floyd comes out.